Here we go! I'm going to be normal now!

It's 4:00 on Thursday afternoon.  In three hours, I'll walk out the door and when I come back, it'll be Monday morning at 8:30.  8:30 in the morning.  Yeesh.  And then I'll have to do that every day through Friday. 

Putting aside (for just one moment) the trouble I'll have waking up every weekday for the rest of my life, there will be traffic and long lines at Dunkin Donuts.  Then on the way home, there will be traffic again.  And now that I'll be working regular hours, the gym will be filled with other people who work regular hours--instead of being completely empty as I'm used to.

The upsides sound really great right now but it's yet to be seen whether I'm right about that.  I'll have off both Saturday and Sunday like normal people.  (I have always kinda wondered how those normal people live.  What's it like to go to a bar at, like, 8:00 p.m.--and not close the place?)  I'll be able to get home at, like, 6:15 p.m. and have a full night to be able to get things done (or movies watched or clothes cleaned).  And last but not least, I will be sitting over there (I'm pointing right now) with the normal-ish people. 

No more will I have to hear the constant bleating of that infantile (though over 50) moron, nor that of his new equally (alarmingly) immature partner in crime.  My god, they're perfect or each other.  And they can have this side of the building all to themselves.  Well, of course they'll have to share it with a few people.

They'll have to share with the kid on the other side of this wall whose obvious cocaine habit requires that he sniff loudly and clear his throat every minute or so.  (I once saw him lean out of his driver's side door and vomit onto the parking lot.) 

They'll have to share with angry foreigner--who seems as if he could blow up at any moment and who refuses to get a tighter grasp on the English language than the relatively loose one he's had since I met him. 

They'll have to share with the little intern who could, 400 lb's of battering ram who's always trying to prove he's a man...and who doesn't seem to realize he's hopelessly in love with the girl who sits on the other side of his wall.  Everyone else seems to realize it but mostly because it makes us nauseous. 

Looking at things that way, the pros have to outweight the cons!  I think I'll have a drink tonight to celebrate!

Cafferty Commentary: Time for Cheney to go hunting

Jack Cafferty and I don't always agree but he is right on the money this time.  No way I could have said it better.  I've tried but ended up nowhere near as eloquent.  And the second-to-last paragraph is so true...

Commentary: Time for Cheney to go hunting

[SOURCE:  cnn.com] -- It's time for the Republican Party to tell former Vice President Dick Cheney to put a sock in it.

Here we are 100 days into the new administration of Barack Obama, and Darth Vader is still wandering around grumbling about why the new administration is all wrong.

Nobody is interested anymore, Mr. Vice President. You and your gaggle of miscreants had your shot, and we are in the toilet because of it. Don't you get it?

The election of this nation's first African-American president and his massacre of John McCain in the Electoral College is because of you and President Bush and the myriad problems you left us all with.

Last week, you were predicting President Obama's economic policies would have devastating effects in the long term. This from a member of an administration that more than doubled the national debt in eight years and gave $700 billion to its buddies on Wall Street, no questions asked. You're a little short on credibility when it comes to the economy, don't you think?

We are reading about enhanced interrogation memos written by lawyers at the Justice Department that authorized the United States of America to behave like some Third World gang of hoodlums like the Taliban or al Qaeda.

Two members of al Qaeda were waterboarded 266 times in a single month in violation of the Geneva Conventions as well as other international agreements we are signatories to. Who authorized those memos to be written, Mr. Vice President?

President Obama has done an about-face and said he now favors an investigation into those memos. Where will that investigation lead, Mr. Vice President? This country used to stand for something before you and President Bush got your hooks into it.

Now our reputation is shot, we are bankrupt, we continue to fight two wars that you started and the economy is in the worst recession since the Great Depression. And you have the temerity to go around criticizing those who replaced you? How dare you?

If the Republican Party has any hopes of redeeming itself in the eyes of the voters, they must distance themselves from the likes of Dick Cheney and the fundamentalist right-wingers who have become the poster children of political intolerance in this country.

Why do you think some members of your party are suggesting you embrace same-sex marriage? Because of a change of heart? I doubt it. More likely, the wiser heads in the party recognize that without some nod toward inclusion of someone besides the extremists you represent, your party's political chances going forward hover between slim and none.

Please, go quail hunting and leave the rest of us alone.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Jack Cafferty (and me!).

Bea Arthur

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
Your heart is true
You're a pal and a confidante

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say
Thank you for being a friend