Is it just me or is there something disturbing about this picture?

Is that a rolled up newspaper or are you just happy to see me?

So long, Rudy!

Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani, the former national GOP front-runner, is in third place in polls of Florida voters. Giuliani has performed miserably in all the caucuses and primary elections thus far because he's completely ignored all of them while pinning all his hopes on Florida, a state he calls "crucial" to his chances.

What a stupid move. You need momentum going into Florida. You can't expect to win after such poor showings in every state whose voice has already been heard.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not feeling sorry for the man. Were it not for McCain's desire to make permanent Bush's miserable tax cuts for the rich...and were it not for Huckabee's frightening bible-thumping...and were it not for Romney's homophobia, I'd say Giuliani is about the most disgusting nominee the GOP could come up with.

Truth be told, Giuliani seems to be the least politically offensive of the GOP hopefuls. If it has to be a Republican in the White House (and I really don't see much chance of that), I'd much rather have it be someone of his political leanings. Personally, however, he just grosses me out.

The last thing we need is another fear-monger in the big chair. And his campaign has been all about fear. Telling Americans to vote for him because if he's not president, there will be another domestic terrorist attack... That's just shameful. And using images from 9/11 in his television ads should be enough to make any self-respecting Republican switch party affiliations. Some things should be sacred (like 9/11 and the Constitution).

Bye-bye, Rudy.

Amy Winehouse: "Okay. Yes, yes, yes."

They tried to make her go to rehab and Amy Winehouse has finally said yes, yes, yes.

Scotland Yard launched an investigation yesterday into a video showing her smoking what certainly appears to be a crackpipe, snorting something, and admitting to having taken six Valiums. And t oday, the other shoe dropped in the form of a statement released by Universal Music Group:

"Amy decided to enter [a rehab] facility today after talks with her record label, management, family and doctors. Amy entered the facility by mutual agreement and continues to receive the full support of all concerned. She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction and prepare for her planned appearance at the Grammy Awards."

The Grammy Awards? That shit is poppin on February 10! Let's say she needs a week to do this preparation they're talking about. Wait. You know what? Let's give Amy the benefit of the doubt (again): Let's say she can prepare in just four days. That leaves her with twelve days of rehab. Twelve days ain't gonna get no one of crack and valium! Damn Gina, Amy even says in her song that it takes seventy!

She ain't singing at no Grammys.

Hey, Washington! How 'bout just capping the price of gas?

The government is allegedly trying to boost the sagging economy by sending us all checks this summer. I just read the details and if they actually pass the currently-floated stimulus package, I will be receiving a check this June for $600. (Marrieds will get more than $600 and each kid they've popped out will net them an additional $300.)

Back on September 12, 2001, everyone knew this alleged president was going to bomb and spend us into a recession--if not a depression. Prices started creeping up, jobs became scarce, and rents went up everywhere. I've been working mostly the whole time and I've become a somewhat more frugal shopper. So the only effect the sagging economy has had on me has been the astronomical increase in the price of gas. (I don't know if everyone realizes this, but the average price for a gallon of gas was $1.45 when George W. Douche took office. It is more than twice that today. And it's up 86¢ from just a year ago.) $600 might come close to reimbursing me for the extra $1.60 per gallon I've been paying for the past six or seven years.

Here's my question for Washington: Are you really gonna send us checks every time you're forced to realize your colossal screw-ups are fucking everyone in America and making us the laughingstock of the planet? Why not help us a little every day instead of increasing our nation's already-ridiculous deficit in one fell swoop? Why don't you just knock the price of gas down to around $1.50? Subsidize it, cap it, help us pay for it... Do something useful for once! Failing that though, hurry up and send me my $600.

I can't wait

For the past couple months, I've been just sitting here at work, not doing anything. My boss made it this way because she's afraid she's going to lose her job if I keep mine. So while I've been looking for a new position in the company, she's taken all my work away.

I don't quite know how no one's caught her yet because I used to do everything in the entire department. All the reports came from me, all the work in the billing systems was done by me. Everything had my name on it. Now it's all her and I don't have my laptop or cell phone anymore. Her boss comes in here and I'm playing with the Internets, wondering why all the fun stuff is blocked by web filtering software. Maybe she told him what she's doing. Maybe they're in cahoots!

At any rate, I'm getting a new position and it is going to be so much better for me. The longer I sit here with nothing to do, the more I realize this whole department is wrong for me. These people are mostly awful, this building is garbage, and this isn't even a part of the business I want to be involved with.

I should be receiving the information today about when I start my new position. It might be on Monday or it might be in March. I don't know yet but either way, I can't wait to move on! And after working for my current boss (can you say "psycho?"), my new department could be run by a satanic cult and I'm sure I'd still adore them. I will miss coming into work whenever I want and taking lunches for as long as I wish but that's the price I have to pay!

Foiled again!

I've been blogging for years and the people really seemed to like it. But for some reason the company I work for suddenly blocked access to sites like blogger.com. They filtered them with the category "Personals & Dating" which I find insulting since my blogging has not resulted in so much as a simple hand job.

Anyway, the old blog had to go because too many people had found the damn thing and it was becoming more trouble than it was worth.

Fortunately, I realized that blogger has a mail-to-blogger feature which allows me to simply e-mail my blog posts instead of needing to log onto the site. So I can pretty much blog my ass off whenever I feel like it, regardless of the company's stupid "Personals & Dating" filters. The ironic thing is that I'm about to start a new job which will likely take up all my blogging time. (More on that tomorrow.) So who exactly is foiled here: Me or the company? I'm thinking it's me! Damnit!

Al Gore Endorses Same-Sex Marriage

Pretty significant, people.  Video of the speech is here.  Is he perhaps positioning himself for something?

Where's my snow?

This winter, much like last winter, is a real piece of shit.  I know there are a lot of people who despise cold & snow and a lot of times those people ask me if I'm crazy because I do like winter weather.  I never give the appropriate response which is:  "Hey, fuck you.  You're the crazy one.  If you want one season all year long, why the hell do you live in Philadelphia?  Move!  Go to disgusting Florida where it's humid and Republican all the time.  God willing, once you go I won't have to deal with your stupid questions any more!" 

But the fact of the matter is we hardly have four seasons here anymore.  We have springs, we definitely have summers, and we have falls.  But our winters nowadays tend to happen around December 5.  And then again for a few days near the end of February.  That's it.  That's all we get.

We have hypemeister weather forecasters who see snowstorms on computer models a week-and-a-half in the future and they start telling us about them, getting our hopes up.  And everytime, the snowstorm either slides off the Carolina coast before reaching us or it comes up the coast but too far west and we get rain or an ugly mixture of rain and sleet. 

For fine examples of this, look at 99% of the snow that's been in our forecast at any point over the past five years.  For more recent examples, look at the storm last week.  And the one before that.  And the one that's been forecast for Thursday...but which then disappeared from that forecast and came back... to Cape May.  I'm sick of this shit.  I guess I have to move too!

Paula Abdul

After an excruciating absence from recording, '80s and '90s pop superstar Paula Abdul is releasing a new single called "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow." Ryan Seacrest debuted the song on his morning radio show last week. (Check it out here.) The only place I've been able to hear the song unfettered is here.

Produced by fellow American Idol judge Randy Jackson and appearing as the lead track and first single from his forthcoming album, Randy Jackson's Music Club, Volume 1, "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" is going to surprise many by being not nearly the disaster people are hoping for. (I'll never understand why people are so ignorant to Paula Abdul. I imagine it has something to do with their own self-hatred. There's no other reason to so dislike someone who is arguably one of the sweetest people in the world.)

Jackson and Abdul shot a video for the song on January 21 which will premiere during FOX's coverage of the Super Bowl on February 3. (FOX, by the way, is turning the Ryan Seacrest-hosted Super Bowl into the biggest American Idol commercial ever produced.) The song is extremely radio-friendly and will be a club banger for sure. If all goes as planned (and if it doesn't, it won't be for lack of exposure), it will be Abdul's 9th song to reach the top 10. (The last was "Blowing Kisses In the Wind," which was released fifteen years ago.)

Speaking of Paula's older material, last night was the first time I ever saw the full video for her last single (1996's "Ain't Never Gonna Give You Up," which was all-but ignored by MTV and VH1). It's fantastic and a great reminder that the woman has moves! Watch it here. (Search for "Paula Abdul" and scroll down to the music videos section at the bottom of the page.)

Randy Jackson's Music Club, Volume 1 Track Listing

1. "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow," Paula Abdul
2. "Something To Believe In," Jason Mraz, Van Hunt and Jon McLaughlin
3. "What Am I So Afraid Of," Keke Wyatt, Trisha Covington and Kylie Dean
4. "Just Walk on By," Joss Stone & Three 6 Mafia
5. "Home," John Rich, Anthony Hamilton and Sara Watkins
6. "Wang Dang Doodle," Sam Moore, Keb' Mo' and Angie Stone
7. "Like A," featuring Crunk Squad
8. "Who's Gonna Love You Now," Kelli Selah
9. "My R&B," Barbi Esco
10. "Real Love," Katherine McPhee and Elliott Yamin
11. "Willing To Try," Richie Sambora, Travis Tritt and Lucy Woodward
12. "I Understand," Bebe Winans, Kim Burrell, Rance Allen, Mariah Carey and
13. Hezekiah Walker & The Love Fellowship Tabernacle Church Choir

Alright, kids. I'm back!

You know I couldn't stay away for long.  Well, maybe you don't know that because you have no idea who I am.  But I've been blogging for years and years and years.  And no amount of web filtering is going to be able to stop me!  I'll be all up in it soon enough.  Stay tuned!