Thursday, January 24, 2008

Hey, Washington! How 'bout just capping the price of gas?

The government is allegedly trying to boost the sagging economy by sending us all checks this summer. I just read the details and if they actually pass the currently-floated stimulus package, I will be receiving a check this June for $600. (Marrieds will get more than $600 and each kid they've popped out will net them an additional $300.)

Back on September 12, 2001, everyone knew this alleged president was going to bomb and spend us into a recession--if not a depression. Prices started creeping up, jobs became scarce, and rents went up everywhere. I've been working mostly the whole time and I've become a somewhat more frugal shopper. So the only effect the sagging economy has had on me has been the astronomical increase in the price of gas. (I don't know if everyone realizes this, but the average price for a gallon of gas was $1.45 when George W. Douche took office. It is more than twice that today. And it's up 86¢ from just a year ago.) $600 might come close to reimbursing me for the extra $1.60 per gallon I've been paying for the past six or seven years.

Here's my question for Washington: Are you really gonna send us checks every time you're forced to realize your colossal screw-ups are fucking everyone in America and making us the laughingstock of the planet? Why not help us a little every day instead of increasing our nation's already-ridiculous deficit in one fell swoop? Why don't you just knock the price of gas down to around $1.50? Subsidize it, cap it, help us pay for it... Do something useful for once! Failing that though, hurry up and send me my $600.

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