Vote!

Since I originally registered to vote (back in the Stone Age), I have always been a declared Independent. Until today, I'd never voted in a primary election. But this morning, I had to make a change. And I may have broken election laws to do it since I voted where I'm registered even though I've since moved to another county in the state. (To be fair, I don't think any laws were broken because I called the elections commissioner and asked before I did anything. I was told the ballots are the same across the state--no local races or ballot questions--so "it should be fine." I just had to prove my identity before I was allowed into the booth.)

Although it took about half-a-second (the entire process of voting took approximately two minutes), the biggest part of my day took place as soon as I signed in at my polling place: I had to declare myself a Democrat. Every state is different but I live just outside of Philadelphia, in southern New Jersey. Our primaries happen on the same day (Super Tuesday) and voters must be a declared member of the party in order to vote. In order to cast a ballot for the most-qualified person running to be President, I was being forced to declare.

A number of years ago, this would have truly galled me. It used to bother me that as an Independent, I couldn't choose to help a Democratic or Republican candidate if that's how I chose to use my vote. (In the interest of full-as-I-want-to-get disclosure, I've only voted for an Independent candidate once. But I want to have the option of voting for whichever candidate I agree with most, regardless of his or her party affiliation.)

Everything changed in 2000, when Karl Rove and the United States Supreme Court conspired to rig the election and steal the office of President of the United States for George W. Bush, who is barely qualified to be a gas station attendant. (Gas station attendants, I'm pretty sure, are required to be able to speak clearly and stay sober.)

When I witnessed all the finagling, voter suppression, cheating, and lying committed during the campaign, election, and its aftermath, I knew I would never want to be in any way affiliated with such corrupt pigs. And make no mistake about it: While all Republicans may not necessarily be corrupt pigs, the Republican politicians most certainly are. Filthy, greedy, lying pigs who don't give a shit about America or its citizens.

In 2004, I held onto my status as an Independent. I wasn't ready to give it up. I didn't vote in the primary because I figured Americans knew what they were doing. There was no way the country would actually vote for four more years of funding a corrupt war, being lied to, and being shown quite clearly that the White House didn't care about us in any way, shape, or form. There was no way we'd re-elect someone who it was quite obvious had knowingly committed criminal activities to get the Iraq war started. But I underestimated us. I underestimated the incredible stupidity of the American people. And since the majority of votes in America were allegedly cast for George W. Bush, I am forced to admit: Most of you idiotic little sheep sicken me.

I obviously can't let you guys make such major decision on your own. So starting today, I've taken things into my own hands. Starting today, I am a proud Democrat. And I have a feeling I'm going to remain a proud Democrat until the day I die.

By the way, that most-qualified candidate I referred to above is Hillary Clinton.